Where Everybody Knows Your Name: Exotica International

It’s been a busy last few weeks for me. I’ve managed to get a couple of things out, but haven’t had any time to hit clubs let alone do a proper write-up. But when Jack Bog calls you out, it’s time to get back to work. A couple of readers have suggested I check out the Exotica International.  So check it out, I did.

Exotica is located in a funky part of the city that has a few different personalities. During the day, things are pretty industrial and lunch bucket. There’s a Kraft plant next door. A couple of fast food joints dot the intersection there at Columbia and MLK. And the Humane Society is just a few blocks down the street. After dark, the warehouses and cracker plant empty and lunch stops become hopping clubs. The Exotica is part of that scene.

I actually missed the driveway as I made the turn on MLK. During the day, the parking lot looks much bigger. A quick u-turn in the next parking lot, and I was there. A tiki torch out front let me know I’d found the place. It being a Saturday night, the parking lot was pretty full. I parked toward the back of the lot and made my way to the door. I was greeted by a guy in his early-5os who carried a hand held metal detector.

“If you’re carrying keys or a cell phone, could you take them out of your pocket?” he asked, “I’m trying to cut back on fondling guys.”

No problem. I held my keys in one hand and phone in the other while he gave me the once over. As he screened me, I read the sign on the door which banned bandanas and colors. And I think there may have been something about hats as well, but I can’t remember.

“Thanks,” the guy said, “the gentleman inside will ask you for ID and a $4 cover.”

$4? Wow. Cheap!

Walking in, the first thing I noticed was how dark it was. The lights were turned way down.  The tunes were alright.  A good mix of hip-hop and rock.  As I made a beeline for the main stage, a waitress intercepted me and took my order.  A bottle of Coors Light.

Seating at the stage was about half-full.  A group of guys off to one side were celebrating someone’s birthday and bounced to the hip-hop.  There were a few older guys mixed in as well.  I didn’t get a good look at the tables away from the stage.  It was just too dark.  They seemed to mostly be populated with dancers and a couple of what I guess were regulars.  You can get a good look at the layout of the place on their website.  Be forewarned though, the pictures on the site light the place up to an optimal level.  It sure wasn’t like that the night I went in.

There was a little video special I saw earlier this summer where some guy took a camera to a few places around town for a national adult website.  He stopped at Exotica and interviewed a couple of the customers.  They said there was someone inside there for everyone.  And they weren’t lying.  You like thick girls?  They got ‘em.  Big butts?  Yup.  Teenagers?  A few of those.  And one girl who initially turned my crank.  I wish I could remember her name.  Unfortunately there aren’t bios for individual dancers on the club’s website.

Anyway, remember those Budweiser ads from the late-80s with the three women in one-piece bathing suits laying on the beach?  This girl could have come straight out of that poster.  I wish I could find the picture.  Anyway.  Wavy blonde shoulder-length hair.  A toned body and perfect skin.  And the smile.  Oh my.  A perfect package.  And judging by the guys flocking to the stage, I wasn’t the only one who thought so.

When girls on stage come around to me,  generally don’t say anything.  I’ll nod.  Make eye contact.  Smile.  That sort of thing.  But talking dirty?  Nah.  That’s not my game at all.  That’s not part of the show to me.   The guy who sat next to me had no such inhibitions, however.  As the girl worked from me to him, he started in with all kinds of language.  To her credit, she kept smiling.  I’ve no idea how girls put up with the true degenerates.

As is my custom, I made it all the way through the rotation of girls.  There were a dozen or so working Saturday night.  Like I said, a good selection.  No one asked me for a dance, so I didn’t try one.  The VIP area in the back looked pretty empty as well.  So was it a busy night?  Hard to tell.  There looked like there was a third stage in the back, but it was unused.  Only the main stage and the cage were active.

I gotta be honest.  I was really impressed with the place.  Drinks were reasonably priced.  The girls were all decent.  And the interior was first-class.  I could have done without all the TVs playing softcore porn, but to each his own, I suppose.  They can’t all be showing ESPN.   Anyway, next time I’ll definitely be back sooner rather than later.

Posted by Richard Thruster, filed under Exotica International


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