With The In Crowd: Stars Cabaret

Dad, a blog regular, suggested I go check out Stars. He said it was cleaner and more upscale than the D2. Since they’ve all but quit advertising on the radio, I’d honestly forgotten they even existed. It used to be you couldn’t turn on the local sports station or the “guy talk” station without hearing an ad for Stars and their real “Las Vegas-style” entertainment. For some reason when I hear Las Vegas entertainment, I think topless showgirls with giant feather things on their heads. Turns out, not so much.

I made the hike out there Saturday night. During the drive, I found another place on the south side of Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway that looked to be jam packed. Hotties. Looks like it’s a juice bar. Great. Maybe after Blush. And the Hawthorne Strip.

I pulled into the parking lot around 10:30 or so with a wad of singles in my pocket and a plan to spend them all on Harley. Pulling in, I found a spot right up front. It took me a second to figure out it was a valet spot and I’d need to pay someone for the privilege of parking there. I’ve no idea why anyone would want to pay to park in front of a club. It seems like a dumb idea to me. I worked my way around back and found what I guess was a spot under a tree. There were no spots to be found anywhere.

I followed a couple through the door and up to the register. The lady at the door carded both of them and charged $6. Not too bad. She also asked me for ID and wrote down my birth year before taking my admission. I turned to enter the room and was immediately blasted with lights and music and girls. So this is what Las Vegas-style entertainment is supposed to look like!

There were four stages, each of them occupied by a girl hotter than the last. I’ve never seen that much Grade A talent in one place in Oregon. I’m guessing they had 20 girls working. One or two were 7s. The rest were 8s or higher. I’m not one usually one to grade so crudely, but in this case I think it’s warranted. These are girls who could easily be in magazines. And they’re all under one roof.

The room was absolutely packed. The crowd seemed to be much younger than crowds you might find at other clubs. It was definitely dominated by the under-30 crowd. Lots of big watches and collared shirts. Guys you’d normally find downtown on a Saturday night. It’s not my thing, but whatever.  They also had several hookahs available for use.  I guess this is the new thing among the 20-something set?  The DJ hyped them several times right along with the drink specials.

I made my way over to the main stage and parked right on the rail. The first girl up was Dad’s girl Harley.  She’s tall and stacked.  Like the rest of the girls in the place, she probably rates a 9.  I wish I could give you a better report on her, but as soon as she hit the stage, someone decided to turn on the strobe lights.  While the strobe was pretty cool in the 80s, it really has no place in today’s clubs.  This particular strobe was located right next to her head as I looked up, so if I tried to look at Harley, I just got a face full of strobe.  Maybe that was the goal, I don’t know.  I do know I spent her entire set squinting and fearful the strobe would be activated again.

As soon as Harley finished her set, it was time to run some sort of promotion.  Each dancer made her way to a stage with a “limited edition” Stars stocking cap.  Who in their right mind would wear such a thing in public is beyond me, but whatever.  Anyway, the deal was if you purchased 2 dances from a particular girl during the time allotted, you got to keep the cap.  I was going to grab Harley so I could report back to Dad, but alas she was the first one grabbed.  So I sat back and waited for someone to ask me.  And I waited.  And I waited some more.   I have to wonder sometimes whether I even get noticed.  I tip every song, I tip the waitress for every drink (whether it’s alcohol or a Diet Coke), and I’m polite to the girls.  Yet Saturday night, despite doing all three of these things, I only had one girl ask me for a dance.  Sales, people!  You have to wade through a lot of no’s before you get to your yes.  So whatever.

After the promotion ended, I bounced around from stage to stage, catching the girls I wanted to check out.  There was the young Hispanic girl.  There was the blonde who looked like my high school crush.  And there was the girl dressed as a secretary.  She had me going right up until she took her clothes off to reveal both arms sleeved in tattoos.  Oh!  And the strobe went off again.  So that was a double whammy.

All-in-all, I spent a couple hours in there.  Had a beer ($4.50 for a bottle of Coors Light…not too shabby) and gazed upon the hottest girls in town, bar none.  If you’re in the mood for Playmates and nothing else will do, I highly recommend Stars.  Just look out for that damned strobe.

Posted by Richard Thruster, filed under Hotties, Stars Cabaret


bettycid says:

Nice information.

Thanks for sharing.


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